I recently stayed with our daughter and her family in the UK. Eddie is now six and his younger sister is 2 ¾ years old. They made me laugh and brought me back to the simple things in life in an instant.
As a writer I always have my little book with me ready to jot down sentences and ideas, so whenever they said something funny or odd I’d scribble a few lines to remind me later.
As so many people enjoyed the first article in this series, I thought you’d like to spend time with my lovely grandchildren again.
So, forget any woes, just read on …
OLD AT 18?
My 6-year-old Grandson was pulling his hair back painfully tight from his forehead.
EDDIE "Grandma” he asked looking rather strange as even his young skin was joining the journey backwards. “Do I look bald?"
ME: “Not really, why do you want to look bald?"
EDDIE: "Yes, you've got to be bald like Daddy to be a man!" (His Daddy is not bald; he’s only receding a little)
ME: "No you haven't Eddie, not all men are bald. John isn't bald." (John is his Daddy’s 16-year-old brother)
EDDIE: "John who? I don't know anyone called John."
ME: "Yes, you do, Uncle John."
EDDIE: "Oh, he's not a proper man. I want to be old, really old, so I need to be bald."
ME: "How old do you want to be?"
EDDIE: "Oh at least 18."
CONCERN ABOUT THE RAIN
I was driving along with my two and a half year old granddaughter sitting in the back of the car when suddenly the skies opened and the rain was so heavy it was as though we were sat in a washing machine. I pulled over and stopped the car.
MELISSA: “Grandma! Grandma! Look at that.” (She was pointing to the front windscreen where the gallons of rain was very noisily beating down).
ME: “The rain will pass over in a minute, you’ll see.”
MELISSA: “Don’t worry Grandma. I’m here.”
ME: “That’s good.”
MELISSA: “And yes, you mustn’t worry about the windscreen. Look it can’t get in. Those ‘wind-washers’ will knock it away.”
EDDIE: “Grandma, in a war does a soldier have a first aid kit?”
ME: “Um …probably.” (I had a mind to the next question if I went into too much detail)
EDDIE “A second aid kit?”
ME: “I’ve never heard of a second aid kit.”
EDDIE: “Never heard of it!”
ME: “No. What’s in it?”
EDDIE: “Chocolate to make you run faster.”
ME: (trying not to laugh). “Oh.”
EDDIE: “Of course it makes you better too. Well, maybe.”
GOING TO BED
I had just read Melissa her bedtime story and was ready to kiss her goodnight.
MELISSA: “Grandma, are you sleeping at my house tonight?”
ME: “Yes, Grandad and I are staying here for a few days.”
MELISSA: “Yeah! Good. Are you sleeping in your bed tonight.” (Melissa thinks of the bed in the spare room as being mine I think.)
MELISSA “You could sleep in my bed if you want?”
ME: “No, this is your bed. There isn’t room for two people.”
MELISSA: “I know. I know.” (Her excitement was obvious). ‘But, why don’t you sleep under my bed? You could have one of my teddies to cuddle then.”
EDDIE: “Do you have any medicine?”
ME: “What kind of medicine?”
EDDIE: “Get well medicine Grandma.” (I suppose I did ask a silly question)
ME: “What’s the matter, don’t you feel very well?”
EDDIE: (he sort of changes the subject) “Well, you see if you hide one teaspoon of get well medicine, it turns into chocolate.”
Eddie: “But Grandma, it doesn’t happen quickly. You’ve got to leave it a whole five minutes.”
HOW OLD ARE YOU GRANDAD?
EDDIE: “How old are you Grandad?”
GRANDAD: “I’m twenty-one.”
EDDIE: “My Mum’s is older than you.” (His Mum is our daughter)
GRANDAD: “Is she? How old is she?”
EDDIE: “She’s very very old. She’s at least 40.”
GRANDAD: (He’s trying not to laugh)
EDDIE: “But Grandad, I think you must be telling me little lies or you’ve forgotten how old you are.”
GRANDAD: “I will whisper it to you Eddie. Don’t tell Grandma.”
EDDIE: “I won’t tell anybody Grandad.”
GRANDAD: “I’m 68.”
EDDIE: (nodding seriously) “You can trust me.”
EDITOR: You can read Part 1 of Hilary's 'Cheer up and laugh' here.